I'M NOT DEAD!

Yea....I'm not dead, just been on a bit of hiatus. I feel obliged to let all 3 of my loyal readers know what I've been up to.

1. Started the whole Obama muslim/terrorist rumor

2. Had 3 (very...very unsucessful) sex changes

3. Adopted Cambodian immigrant midget children

4. pursued my lifelong dream to be the greatest rapper alive. (B on the lookowt 4 my album "Get Lotion or Die Ashy: In stores soon")
6. Forgetting #5

7. Learned how to spell Negus

8. Ruined Tyra Bank's career....not that it required my doings

9. Freed Tibet

10. Learned that Zoloft+Vodka+Chronic+Baklava= A night in Club Fed

11. Learned the Nationality of 'The Muppets' (They're not quite mops & they're not quite puppets)

So as all of 5 of you reading this can see I've been up to quite a bit but I can assure you as the late F. Sinatra once said "The best is yet to come & who spilled Cottage Cheese on my Wenis?"