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I'm not going to lie... There just isn't too much to blog on my side of the planet. Right now, I am on a serious verge on going into a major hiatus. Its that time again, folks. Time to rethink, recharge, and revaluate alot of things in my life.
Lately, I find myself at an all time artistic low. I don't have the energy nor the urge to create and very little around me is inspiring me. I don't know if it because of my surroundings or because I feed off the energies of other humans. Everytime I turn on the T.V another bullshit reality show it on, degrading women, or stereotyping black people. JUST ALL AROUND BULLSHIT!
The newest mixtapes doesn't mean anything to me, never have, never will. What Kanye West wore to an award show means nothing to me. I feel like there is more out there than just this normal everyday "blog" shit. Its overrated and now everywhere you look, somebody else has a blog. Someone else trying to keep up with "whats hot or not" But NOBODY seems to be trying to create, and change, or do anything NEW! Gosh, do I hate trends!
I feel like I'm in a bubble, and something out this "bubble" is waiting for me, but I just can't seem to grasp onto it just yet because I haven't completed something else in my life. We are so taught to think linear. You know, after you graduate high school, you pick a career and go to college, after you graduate college, you get a job. After you've made enough money, you have kids, and so on and so forth. But as an individual, I have trained myself to think in a slopes, in a upward motion. But something is holding me back from my increase.
Its almost like God has put me in this limbo of neutrality and I'm just here waiting. Waiting for my break, waiting for my time. I know this person and that person, but name calling means NOTHING if you're not doing that shit yourself! Its frustrating. Because as an artist, I want to create, I want to be inspired, I want to inspire others. However, I have a feeling that something is holding me back.
So, forgive the slackness of LOVECRUSADER. Hopefully, my friends will hold it down. In the mean time, I'll be in the lab cooking up some real medicine for ya'll. I'm out to save lives.
"THE FUTURE... SHIT, SOMEBODY'S GOTTA DO IT!...."
-Imani Waddy & Milah.b
All love,
-milah.b
Lately, I find myself at an all time artistic low. I don't have the energy nor the urge to create and very little around me is inspiring me. I don't know if it because of my surroundings or because I feed off the energies of other humans. Everytime I turn on the T.V another bullshit reality show it on, degrading women, or stereotyping black people. JUST ALL AROUND BULLSHIT!
The newest mixtapes doesn't mean anything to me, never have, never will. What Kanye West wore to an award show means nothing to me. I feel like there is more out there than just this normal everyday "blog" shit. Its overrated and now everywhere you look, somebody else has a blog. Someone else trying to keep up with "whats hot or not" But NOBODY seems to be trying to create, and change, or do anything NEW! Gosh, do I hate trends!
I feel like I'm in a bubble, and something out this "bubble" is waiting for me, but I just can't seem to grasp onto it just yet because I haven't completed something else in my life. We are so taught to think linear. You know, after you graduate high school, you pick a career and go to college, after you graduate college, you get a job. After you've made enough money, you have kids, and so on and so forth. But as an individual, I have trained myself to think in a slopes, in a upward motion. But something is holding me back from my increase.
Its almost like God has put me in this limbo of neutrality and I'm just here waiting. Waiting for my break, waiting for my time. I know this person and that person, but name calling means NOTHING if you're not doing that shit yourself! Its frustrating. Because as an artist, I want to create, I want to be inspired, I want to inspire others. However, I have a feeling that something is holding me back.
So, forgive the slackness of LOVECRUSADER. Hopefully, my friends will hold it down. In the mean time, I'll be in the lab cooking up some real medicine for ya'll. I'm out to save lives.
"THE FUTURE... SHIT, SOMEBODY'S GOTTA DO IT!...."
-Imani Waddy & Milah.b
All love,
-milah.b
6 comments:
I think it's interesting that you should mention God putting you in a place of neutrality. I went to church this morning, somehwere I haven't been in 4 years. I won't say I had an epiphany or that I had anything spectacular happen. I wasn't delivered. I wasn't overcome with the spirit. That's a whole 'nother blog.
Anyways, the word we received this morning which you made me think of was about the Isrealites that God specifically put into the wilderness after leaving Egypt. Not because they needed to be made to suffer or anything, but so that he could show them how He would provide for them and fill a void.
The pastor told us that God takes us in places and directions that seem stale and completly anti and opposite of what we think we need to move forward with our plans. I don't know if u believe in God or not, and I can't say I'm a %100 christian either, but I think that even in your place of neutrality, that someone/something is working to make u better. That someone could be yourself, or God. Even if its just being fed up with no one else being creative, forcing you to explode into something more amazing than you had originally intended. Who knows, your art may change the world. Hitting a wall forces you to figure out a way to get over it, doesn't it? I don't know... that's just my opinion.
That's wasn't an attempt to fix ur problem or anything like that, I just found it interesting that multiple people seem to be stuck in the same place. Not trying to get stuck somewhere and follow convention. I hope everything works out and you find the inspiration you need.
It seems awefully silly to sign my name Mclovin now lol
this is why i adore you and your blog. i feel the same exact way. you hit the head right on the nail. now i feel a little better and more anxious to get back to school and grind out... good ish homie!
i love you milah! :o)
keep ur head up! ;o)
I wanted to personally thank everyone for their support. Its good to know there are like-minds in the world. You guys are awesome beyond words.
Thanks for supporting me and my blog.
i feel it, Milz...i remember when we were talking in the pool when you were still in the A, and we were speaking on your change in attitude and outlook. i tried my hardest to open up what you gave me, and tell you what the problem was so we could fix it, but lately i'm realizing that in order for things to get better for you, YOU have to figure out what's wrong, or different. YOU have to find that thing that will pull you out of your bubble. YOU have to find out what kind of gas will push your rollercoaster up that hill that you've stopped before...and make it continue to run it's course. There's nothing I can do, nor the other writers on this site...it's something you have to do.
We're linked in more ways than you know, sis...trust. because the way i've been feeling lately...pshhh. look at my blog. I haven't had a GOOD post since the middle of last month...and I LOVE to speak my mind and write...
as far as holding up the CRUSADER...i shall do my best...hasn't seemed to be working out so well *cough*...lol. but changes will be made, and i'm going to do my best to do what i can for you, and this blog.
P&B
Lu
p.s. yeah...there's alot of blogs out there, people seemed to hop on the bandwagon- but so what? it's not what we have, and i'm sure the reders can co-sign. therefore, it's IRRELEVANT
Damn duke.
This is natural for the time and place you are in your life.
I'm not THAT damn old but I've been here before.
So let me take this opportunity to make sure that we produce enough art/jams to keep your head up.
No this is not a shameless plug,
cuz in the end the love of my folk is all it's about, and if you're not doing good, none of us are.
_Foreigner
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